Real Life

I really enjoyed the opportunity we had to have Sister Williams come in to our class and share her personal experience. For me this was an eye open because I have never taken the time to think about what it would be like to get divorce and then remarry. Also challenges that come with this situation especially in the LDS culture. Now your hopes are to find a good husband but even more now you hope to find a good dad for your children. I appreciated Sister Williams being so willing to share her  experiences and give good advice to us so that we can face the challenges of marrying and raising a family, no matter what are circumstances are.  This opportunity helped me to re-define family and what real life for some is all about.

Some Challenges of Blended Families

• New parents, children, and/or siblings
• Reestablishing and sometimes creating new boundaries
• Reestablish roles or creating new
• Financial Issues
• Creating strong relationships with healthy communication
• Getting all with ex spouses
• Help children adjust positively to all the changes in their lives and family

Parenthood

I would bet that most kids would say that they have the greatest parents ever. And I would fall in that category, I think that I have the world's greatest parents. I know they aren't perfect but in my eyes they are close to it. They did the best they could and did those things that were best for me. My parents didn't have a list of rules or do and don't, but instead they have very clear expectation for each one of their children. I know that my parents want the best for me and I don't want to ever disappoint them.

I believe that the purpose of parents are to provide for the spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental well-being of their children. Parents are to provide a strong gospel foundation for each of their children to develop upon. Parents are to teach, guide, nurture, protect, discipline, and provide security and support for the children God has given them stewardship over. Parents are to provide for all the basic fundamental needs of children in a positive matter. I know that parenthood is a divinely appoint role from our Heavenly Father, that we are not to take lightly.

Hard Work

It is so important as parents that we teach our children the value and joy that come from hard work and knowing how to mange money. I remember as a little girls helping my mom clean and organize our house. We would work together and because of that today I feel like I know how to clean well. I also remember when all my family would work together in our yard and the fun we would have . Maybe as a kid I didn't love every minute of  the work or realize the lessons I was being taught, but as an adult I value that time and the things my parents taught me and my siblings. One of my more memorable times of working with my family was on my 9th birthday and we were going to go to the movies and on a picnic as a family. However, my dad is a rancher and some fence had got cut, so dad had to go fix it before we left so that the cows didn't get out. Dad decided that it would go fastest if we all went as a family and fixed it really quick, then we could celebrate my birthday. I didn't want to work on my birthday and I was upset so I protested by wearing shorts and flip-flop to fix fence (not the brightest idea) just so that I wouldn't have to work. Well the shorts didn't stop my dad from having me help with the fence because he told me that wasn't a good idea. As we were working on the fence I was following along when my brother pulled tight on the wire to get the fence tight and the wire went straight into my leg and I started to cry. My brother and dad helped me get the wire out and bandage my leg. I learned my lesson that day that I should listen to my dad because he knows what he is talking about and that helping my family with the work would get it done faster and have positive pay offs.

Probably the most valuable principle my parents taught me, that I appreciate more as an adult than I did as a child, is earning, saving and manging money. Starting at age 8 my parents set up a budget system for me to follow and I was required to starting buying my personal needs and wants. We were taught to first pay our 10% of tithing, then put 10% in saving, and then the rest was to be divided up into the different categories being budgeted for. I learned to prioritized my wants and needs. I think as a child we don't often realized what our parents are teaching us, but now as an adult I am extremely grateful for 

the lessons my parents taught me and now I hope I can teach to my own kids.

Communication Differences

It is important for men and women to communicate with each other. But there are some differences in the ways men and women communicate.

Men	Women
*     Talk to tell you about their day *     Talk to come to an end outcome or to solve a problem *     They like to get to the point and are brief *     They speak more through tone than women do *     Less likely to talk about personal matters and emotions *     Men are more likely to interrupt others during communication	*     Talk to connect with others *     Talk to make sense of something by talking it out *     They like to give details *     The speak more through nonverbal means *     They talk more with their hands more than men do *     More likely to talk about personal things to others

Even though there are difference among men and women communication styles it is still very possible to have good communication in a relationship; by becoming familiar with the way other communicate and by establishing a meaning.

Tender Mercies

A family crisis or a trial is never an easy thing.  But, I personally believe that if we look for the Lord's hand in our lives things are made a little easier. Not to say there won't be pain or hard times, but He is there in those times to provide comfort. In Nephi 1: 20 it reads, "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance” I love the  talk given by Elder David A. Bednar, titled "The Tender Mercies of the Lord". Elder Bednar quotes,  "Some may see experiences as simply a nice coincidence, but I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord’s timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them. I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ". We are never alone! I personally have witnessed the tender mercies in my own life and they are a testimony to me that my Savior will be there in the good and the bad times to lift us. He wants us to experience joy and happiness and grow to be strong people.

My Best Friend

Just recently I lost my best friend. I couldn't have asked God for a better mom than the one He gave me. My mom was a women that dedicated her life to others; she was always serving her family, the church and the community. Words cant even begin to describe my mom and how much I love her. She is my role model. I hope that I can be even half the wife and mother that she was. She was my best friend that I told everything to and she always made me feel like I was the most important thing in her life. My mom was the one that taught me that I am a Daughter of God and that I have worth.  My mom and my dad are the reasons I have a testimony of the Jesus Christ and know that He love me. God gives us trials so that  we will grow stronger. I believe this will all my heart. As my family has been through this trying journey I have gained a stronger testimony of the Atonement and that we are never alone. I have grown so close to my wonderful family and this is because of my mom. I Love you Mom! And know that we will be together again. Thank You for who you are and all you taught me.

Vince and I

My Family Genogram

Dating Today

I thought this clip was  funny, but a very sad truth of what dating is like today.

Is Dating Dead?

I am sure many of you have hear or read Elder Oaks Talk "Dating Verses Hanging Out", these are four reasons he gives for the changes in dating...

1. Dating requires commitment, Hanging out requires little to no commitment and we live in a society that is afraid of commitment.
2. The  women’s movement has contributed to discourage dating. As women’s options have increased and therefore traditional women's and men's roles have changes.
3. Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.
4. "The meaning and significance of a “date” has changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market". Many believe that in order for it to be considered a date it has to be expensive and a huge ordeal.

This isn't just the cases in the LDS church, it is a society as a whole.

However there are many rewards to dating...

• The ultimate is finding your eternal companion or preparing for the future
• Practice social skills
• Learn respect for the opposite sex
• Have a fan and enjoy time with others
• Meet new people
• Participate in fun activities
• Gain self-confidence in who you are

So lets create a new trend and enjoy more dating!

Mormon Temples: The Blessings of the Temple

Stay at home dads

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, " Fathers are to preside over the families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families."  While many Latter-day Saints believe this to mean the dad is to work outside the home in a career, while mom is at home tending to the kids. A growing trend in today's family includes the idea of stay-at-home dads. There are a number of circumstances that could force a family to have the dad stay at home, especially in the economic state that the nation is in. However, the trend that is growing surprisingly fast is the choice of many dads to stay at home while the mother goes to work. Here is a NY Times article that talks about this very subject. The following video was posted on the NY Times article.

Thought of You

When I saw this, I thought of you. Hope you like it!

What Is Family?

Families are different for everybody based on their personal experiences and the influnces in their lives. The following video helped to open my eyes as to what others see as family. Some families were so different than what I previously considered, but that doesn't mean they aren't family. Familes really do come in all shapes and sizes!

My Boyfriend

This is my boyfriend. He is awesome.

Family Relations

I am currently in a Family Relations class at BYUI. As part of this class, we have been asked to keep a blog of the things we learn through out this semester. I am to observe and record principles, insight and thoughts, stories, or whatever it may be that we are learning about families.